33rd & Eutaw

Dat Nick

2009-05-04T19:23:00.000-04:00

Bombs away in the first inning for Nick the Stick. Great freaking start tonight. Let's see if Shit Bird (that's Eaton) can actually hold a lead.

Lord, Crawford stole six bases yesterday. Imagine what he can do against Double G. 10? 30? The possibilities are endless....

Come on Birdland, let's get out of this funk.

Another night...another lead pissed away

2009-05-01T21:57:00.004-04:00

(Yes, this guy has 3 RBI against us tonight.)

Tell you what, if MLB games only lasted four innings, the O's might be undefeated. Dat Nick jumped on Halladay in the first for a two-run job to give us an early lead, only for us to piss it away again. The game's not over yet (it's 8-4 right now as I type this in the top of the 9th), but our pitching has been pathetic again. Hendrickson can't get it done. Sarfate got shelled (shocker). And my boy Chris Ray let up two runs too. Damn it Ray, you're making me look bad. Shape the fuck up homes.

Actual quote tonight from Dempsey (actually I'm probably paraphrasing): "When the O's started 6-2 it was because everyone was hitting. Zauny was getting his hits..."

Really Rick? Really? I know he's your nephew, bro, but come on. You know better than that.

Here's hoping for a ninth inning rally.

Oh, and Rick just said, "You have to respect the Orioles committment to Felix Pie." No, Rick, you don't. And then he said that Montanez is the perfect No. 2 hitter for us. Um....last I checked, we had a pretty good No. 2 hitter.

Fuck.

Bullshit Power rankings, take 3

2009-04-29T20:32:00.002-04:00

I hate day games during the week (unless I'm at one, of course). There's just something about following online that pisses me off. That, and I can't exactly scream obscenities from my office when Koji gives up back to back bombs.

Pretty good outing by Koji, though. He kept us in the game, and that's what we expect of him. But we lost...again. The losing skid is at three games and we've sunk to 9-13. And that's two series losses in a row. Koji's fine after taking that liner off the chest, as evidenced by this quote from him:

"I'm more upset about giving up that home run. No pain." That's a guy I'll go to war with any day. Of course, that what his interpreter told everyone he said. He may have simply said, "It hurt like a bitch, damn it." No one knows. But I think it was the first one.

OK, so here we go with the third take on the Bullshit Power Rankings. As always, we'll look at the weekly rankings from ESPN and Sportsline for the Birds and the rest of the AL East, and find ways to tear them down. It's fun.

ESPN: Updated April 27
O's: 25th (prev. 22). "The Orioles have lost seven of 10 after starting 6-3." Ah, ESPN. At least they don't make you feel worse about yourself. It's hard to argue with what they wrote. Facts are facts.

Boston: 1st (prev. 8): "The Red Sox have outscored opponents 80-36 during their 10-game win streak." Fucking Boston. They've gotten hot in a hurry and it just seems like nothing they do is wrong. Need a spot starter? Plug one in and get 7 good innings from him. David Oritz is a corpse? Mike Lowell starts hitting. It's sickening.

Toronto: 3rd (prev. 4): "The Blue Jays have won their first six series of 2009." What the hell in going on in Canada? No matter. Cito is still their manager, they'll fold soon. I can't wait.

New York: 10th (prev. 6): "New York's pitching is the worst in MLB with a 6.25 ERA." And CC's only going to get fatter. Tee hee.

Tampa Bay: 18th (prev. 17): "Starting pitching (5.01 ERA) has been an issue for the Rays, who have lost nine of their past 12." This is actually the only ranking I have a problem with (shocker, I know). I'm just saying, the O's are 2-1 against Tampa this year so far, and they are ahead of them in the actual standings. Therefore, they should be above them in the power rankings. For now. Typical.

Sportsline: updated April 28
O's: 23rd (were 25th): "Adam Jones is hittin' and occasionally walkin'. Ssssshhhh. ... Given that their starting rotation is the baseball equivalent of an open sore, the O's are one of the few teams in baseball history that could make an intelligent case for carrying 13 pitchers." Not as incomprehisble stupid as usual, but I can't believe that they actually moved us UP in the rankings after our recent poor play. Eh, I'll take it I suppose. And why the 'ssssshhhh' after the Sugar Bear sentence? It makes NO sense. Is it a secret that he's becoming a man? Fuck and no. Just a case of a writer trying to be creative when he couldn't think of anything better to write. Ugh.

Boston: 1st (prev. 5th):"That whole "they won't hit enough and Kevin Youkilis' 2008 power numbers were a fluke" thing? Not my finest moment. ... What they have that most contenders lack -- hell, that most corporations, universities and governments lack -- is depth. If somebody goes down, the Red Sox don't pull out their hair and shake their fist at the heavens above (well, the team itself doesn't, anyway). They simply plug in the next guy on the depth chart and go about the tedious business of winning regular-season games at a 60-percent clip. ... As for the great David Ortiz, last seen waving at a Damaso Marte happy pitch that his 2007 self would've sent into orbit, he says that he's not hurt. Here's the thing: I no longer trust any athlete who claims, with fists clenched righteously, "I'm not hurt" (nor, for that matter, "I've never ever ever never ever used steroids" or "dude, that kid ain't mine"). We've been burned before. Can you blame me?" I have to be honest, I stopped reading after the first sentence. Whatever.

Toronto: 4th (prev. 4th): "According to my Google Trends report, there has been a sharp spike in the ascription of mythical, extrasensory winning qualities to Cito Gaston since the Jays started kicking tush. ... How many pitchers do the Jays currently have on the DL? 14? 22? ... They haven't lost a series or back-to-back games this season." Seriously, I can barely read this garbage. And, no, I'm not saying I'm a better writer. And I'm not jealous. I'm just saying that you would think a national Web site could find someone better. That's all.

New York: 11th (prev. 10th): "Run! Hoard canned goods! Enter into legally binding suicide pacts with your loved ones! The end of days is upon us, a mere three weeks into the season! ... I don't own a radar gun and I don't trust the inflated readings flashed on stadium and TV screens, but it sure looks like Joba Chamberlain isn't throwing anywhere near as hard as he did last season. ... It turns out that there is a slight difference between the baseball abilities of Alex Rodriguez and those of Cody Ransom and Angel Berroa. Who knew? ... Bullpens are fixable; injury-prone regulars on the wrong side of 30 are generally not. If I were a Yankees fan (cough! wheeze! aah-choo!), that would be what concerns me most." No argument with the ranking, I just can't read the garbage.

Tampa: 17th (prev. 12): "While only dumbasses and talk-radio muckrakers buy into the importance of a single series in early May, it'd sure be nice for the Rays to show a little something against Boston this weekend. ... It remains amazing to me that the Yankees and Red Sox, two organizations that generally have some vague idea what they're doing, pronounced Carlos Pena finished a few seasons ago. ... I know Rays fans have been shrieking about the pitching, especially in light of the staff's generosity in issuing free passes to first base, but it ain't like David Price is lighting up Triple-A (1-2, 3.71 ERA, eight walks and 20 K's in 17 innings over four starts)." Wait, what's that? A legit point! Presented poorly, sure, but some pretty good points in that paragraph. Still not sure how they're behind us in the standings, we're 2-1 against them, and they're ahead of us in the power rankings.

Just another reason why these things are, in fact, bullshit.

Till next time....

April Report Cards – pitchers (get your bottle of Jack ready)

2009-04-28T22:13:00.004-04:00

(Poor Kranny has a tough gig, including getting Guts to be consistent.)

OK kids, start drinking heavily, prepare to light yourself on fire, or do whatever it is you need to do to get through this post, because it's time to grade the Orioles pitching staff on the first month of the season. This isn't going to be easy, but if we stick together, we can get through it. Hold my hand.

Before we dive in, let me address a comment left on yesterday's hitter's grades: I fucked up. I know Freel was traded for and didn't sign, and I just botched it. No excuse for that shit. So I manned up and admitted it, let's just move on. Oh, and Gregg Zaun deserved a fucking F.

Let's look at just how bad the pitching staff as a whole as been before we start dropping F-bombs, though. Here are a few numbers to chew on. Trust me, they're going to taste like rotten asparagus, so you won't want to chew on them for long.

Runs allowed: 134 (most in the majors)
ERA: 5.83 (tied for fourth worst. The Yanks have the worst team ERA. Tee hee.)
Average against: .303 (worst in the majors. Ouch babe.)
Hits against: 222 (worst in the majors. No one else even has 200 yet).
Doubles allowed: 52 (most in the majors. Feeling sick yet?)
Homers allowed: 37 (second most in the majors.)
Innings per start: 5.1 (tied for worst in the majors.)
Baserunners per nine innings: 15.0 (third worst in the majors.)

Fuuuuuuuuck. That about sums it up.

Add all of those with the fact that the O's have allowed a shit load of unearned runs, and it's enough to make you wonder how we've even won nine games. Matusz, Tillman and Arrieta can't get here soon enough.

And now, here comes your individual grades. We'll start with the, gulp, starters.

Jeremy Guthrie – 2-1, 5.20 ERA, . 298 avg. against, 27.2 IP.
Look, we all know Guts isn't an ace. Asking him to carry a pitching staff is like asking Steve Buscemi to carry a major comedy. If he can play a small part, he's fantastic. But he just doesn't have the stuff to be a headliner. Same with Guts here. He's a gamer. He'll give you all he's got. But realistically, he's a No. 3 starter. He's been a bit erratic this season, and he's got to start throwing more strikes and stop leaving the ball up so much. Whether he has the talent to be a stopper or not, that's what we need him to be.
Grade: B-. At least he has a winning record.

Koji Uehara – 2-1, 4.56 ERA, .231 avg. against, 23.2 IP.
Koji's one of only three pitchers on this staff with a winning record through a month. And no one has more than 2 wins. To quote Bill Simmons, "I will now gargle embalming fluid." It's hard to argue that Koji's been our best starter so far. And I expect him to keep it up. He throws strikes, he keeps us in games for the most part, and it's nice to get a little Japanese culture in the mix. Although the only thing I know about Japanese culture is Yokozuna and Ichiro. And Tom Selleck in "Mr. Baseball."
Grade: A-. Someone had to get an A on this staff.

Mark Hendrickson – 1-3, 5.40 ERA, .317 avg. against, 18.1 IP.
Hendrickson's a tall drink o' water. Port-a-potty water. There is absolutely nothing good to say about him so far. He's had ONE decent start, and usually throws upwards of 70 pitches per inning. This is going south in a hurry.
Grade: D-. The only thing saving him from an F is his one good start. You know what? Fuck it. He gets an F.

Adam Eaton – 1-2, 7.04 ERA, .338 avg. against, 15.1 IP.
Maybe everyone on the White Sox was at the Hustler Club in Baltimore until 6 a.m. the night before they faced him. That's the only way I can figure that he shut them down. I'll usually never side with Philly fans, but I don't blame them for booing him at the ring ceremony. What do you think of that Cowherd? Seriously. He sucks.
Grade: F. If I could go lower, I would.

Brad Bergesen – 1-0, 5.59 ERA, .326 avg. against, 9.2 IP.
Damn, it was refreshing to watch a young Baby Bird in his first start. Bergy was fantastic then. He got roughed up a little in his last start, but that was against Texas, arguably one of the best hitting teams in the bigs. But I feel like he's injected a shot of life into the rotation. I can't wait for the rest of the flock to follow him up. Love this kid.
Grade: B+. Keep dealing Bradley. Keep dealing.

Alfredo Simon – 0-1, 9.95 ERA, .308 avg. against, 6.1 IP.
Let's keep this short and sweet. The only thing good I can say is that he's out for the year. (All the best, though, Alfredo. I mean that!)
Grade: F.

Here come the relievers. Wait, that implies that they actually provide "relief." Let's change that to "guys who come out of the bullpen."

Brian Bass – 0-0, 7.20 ERA, .317 avg. against, 15.0 IP.
Bass and I didn't exactly get off on the right foot, but I'll give credit where it is due – he has been much better lately. Not that he could've been any worse. For a while, I questioned why he wasn't being sent down, then I realized it. When the starters get shelled and it's 9-0 in the third inning, why not bring him in and let him take a beating? Every staff needs a whipping boy, and he's ours.
Grade: D, only because of his recent efforts.

Dennis Sarfate – 0-0, 5.73 ERA, .262 avg. against, 11.0 IP.
Explain to me again how everyone thought the bullpen was going to be one of the team's strengths in the preseason? Sarfate doesn't pass my "demise test." If a "guy who comes out of the bullpen" makes me want to kick my dog in the throat and shotgun 13 warm Keystone Lights before he even throws a pitch, he fails. Sarfate fails.
Grade: F. I'm in a bitter mood, what can I say?

Danys Baez – 1-1, 3.48 ERA, .139 avg. against, 10.1 IP.
I'm not sure I'm ready to live in a world where Danys Fucking Baez is maybe our most reliable reliever, but that's the world we live in. Love his average against, and his 10-1 strikeout to walk ratio. Not a whole lot to complain about here with Baez. Just hope he stays healthy.
Grade: A. Wow, did that just happen?

Matt Albers – 0-1, 7.71 ERA, .400 avg. against, 9.1 IP
Let's just put it this way: my "demise test" was created by Matt Albers.
Grade: F.

Jim Johnson – 1-0, 3.00 ERA, .278 avg. against, 9.0 IP
Expecting Double J to be as lights out as he was for the first half of last season is insane, but he's still extremely solid. I feel confident when Skip calls on him to do work. One of the few bright spots.
Grade: B.

The Brim Reaper – 0-1, 4 saves, 5.19 ERA, .306 avg. against, 8.2 IP.
When your closer's ERA is over 5, and hitters are hitting over .300 against him, people die of heart disease. It's science. T-minus 2 bad outings until Chris Ray's in the closer spot.
Grade: D. He just makes things too scary every time he comes in.

Chris Ray – 0-0, 5.14 ERA, .323 avg. against, 7.0 IP.
Ray's numbers aren't any better than Sherrill's, but if you watch this team enough, you know that his stuff looks better. He's been solid after his rough start, mainly by fixing his arm angle. At least that's what Jim Palmer says in between stories about himself.
Grade: C. But this could be an A by the end of May. I believe in this dude for some reason.

Jamie Walker – 0-0, 0.00 ERA, .385 avg. against, 3.1 IP.
At first glance, you might say, "Wow, Walker hasn't allowed a run all year! He's great!" But then you realize that his only purpose is to get left handed hitters out. And to teach teammates how to speak redneck. And then you see that lefties are hitting .500 against him, and suddenly he doesn't look so squeaky clean. But you can't ignore that ERA.
Grade: B-.

Radhames Liz – 0-0, 67.50 ERA, .667 avg. against, 1.1 IP
'Nuff said.
Grade: F-----------------------------------.

Back tomorrow with the latest round of the Bullshit Power Rankings.

April Report Cards

2009-04-27T19:50:00.002-04:00

(I think it's pretty safe to say that Sugar, B-Rob and Nick the Stick have all earned A's for the first month of the year.)

I know that there are two more games (not counting tonight) left in April, but I'm trying to think of new features to write for this blog other than game recaps. So I'm breaking out an April report card for every player who has played in a regular season game for the O's this year. We'll do the hitters today and work on the pitchers tomorrow.

(Side note: what do you guys want to read about on this blog? Do you want daily game recaps, or would you rather us just rant and throw in some cool shit like a minors report, report cards, bullshit power rankings, etc. Tell us what you want and, damn it, we'll give it to you.)

So anyway, sorry about the lack of updates at the end of last week. Not to make excuses, but I've been trying to think of something other than game recaps to post here. Let's face it, you can find those anywhere. Not to mention, I've been trapped in a catatonic state since Eaton threw a quality start. My wife finally waved a bear claw under my nose to slap me out of it. But excuses aren't welcome here, and I don't intend to make any. I dropped the ball last week, and I'm sorry. Won't happen again, honest. My goal is to get a new post up here every day, but we're still working out kinks so that it isn't just a stale game recap. OK, that said, here's your April report card for Dem O's.

B-Rob – .372, 2 HR, 5 RBI, 18 runs, 8 doubles
You know you're having a damn good month when you go through a 2-for-14 slump and you're still hitting .372. I think B-Rob's been overshadowed by Cano and Kinsler's hot starts among AL second basemen, but as the Skipper will tell you, he is the leader of this club. He's a ballplayer, pure and simple, and you can't ask for a better guy to look up to if you are a young guy like Sugar Bear. The numbers are fantastic. The intangibles are even better.
Grade: A

Sugar Bear – .348, 3 HR, 17 RBI, 20 runs, 7 doubles, 1 triple
We've all seen Sugar Bear becoming a man so far this month. He's exactly what we were hoping for when we sent Boo Hoo Bedard away. That might've been a steal for the O's in a 1-for-1 trade, let alone a 5-for-1. I haven't seen someone get robbed so much since Barry Zito stole all that money from the Giants. Sugar still makes some kid mistakes, but he just got his driver's license last week, so that's to be expected. This kid's got it, man. And if he isn't playing in St. Louis in July, something's wrong. Fucking Jacoby Ellsbury will probably make it over him.
Grade: A

Big Dick Nick – .389, 2 HR, 21 RBI, 21 runs, 9 doubles
When Camden and I were at Cal's HOF induction a couple years back, he looked at me and said, "They should just induct Nick now and save us a trip back up here." Good times. Andy Mac should just go ahead and lock Taylor Markakis up now. He'll be rippin' tits in 4 years.

If B-Rob is the leader of the club, Markakis isn't far behind, and he is the face of the franchise. He's going to win Gold Gloves (although his assists are going to go waaaaay down this year since nobody will run on him. Of course he just had Blalock nailed at 2nd if Andino could catch.), he's going to hit over .300, he's going to drive in 90-100 or more and he's going to his 25-plus homers. And he once threw a sunbeam past a rooster. What more could you want from a guy? We're lucky to have him, man, so enjoy it Birds fans. It's a fucking treat, isn't it? Seeing him and Sugar patrol this OF for the next 6 years or so is a joy. I don't think Nicky is a 35 homer guy, though. Does he have the power? Certainly. But I just don't think he's that kind of hitter. Does that make sense? Probably not.
Grade: A+

Huff Daddy – .276, 3 HR, 17 RBI, 10 runs, 6 doubles
Goodness, the top four in this lineup is scarier than seeing Teri Hatcher topless. I'd like to see Huff Daddy with a few more homers so far, especially considering two of them came in the same game, but beggars can't be choosers, I suppose. Wait, sure we can. Hit the ball out Aubrey. He will drive in plenty of runs, though.
Grade: B

Ty Wigginton – .227, 1 HR, 7 RBI, 4 runs, 1 double
Here's where the praise starts to end. Wiggy has been absolutely dreadful at the plate. He's doing an OK job filling in for Mora at third, I suppose, but has been NOTHING like I expected from him at the dish. And I hate watching him at third too. He either makes a nice play and then takes his sweet ass time making the throw, or he can't bend his fat ass over to get the ball. And he looks lost at the plate. The Crow should tape his eyelids open and make him watch game film for 6 hours a day. Look at it this way, he's gotta get better. Right?
Grade: D

Melvin Mora – .313, 1 HR, 7 RBI, 1 run
Ol' Melvin's got as many homers and RBI as Wiggy .... in 50 less at bats. Good gawd. Hopefully he can come back and hit the way he started before he hurt his 80-year-old hammy. Wiggy also makes him look like Brooks in the field. Come back soon Melvin. We miss you.
Grade: Incomplete. But a B- for the games he did play.

Luuuuuuuuuuuuke – .292, 3 HR, 11 RBI, 8 runs, 5 doubles
I've never been a big Luke guy. Not really sure why, either. I mean, he doesn't complain, he plays hard, and when he's hot, he can flat out rake. I don't know, man, I just can't get behind this guy. Don't get me wrong, I cheer him every time he's up and I like him. I just....I just....can take him or leave him, I suppose.
Grade: C+.

Double G – .109, 0 HR, 1 RBI, 7 runs, 4 doubles
I get it. He's Dempsey's nephew, he's just here to tutor Wieters, and blah, blah, fucking blah. I don't care. He can't hit a lick. It's borderline embarrassing. Five hits in 46 at bats? Bleeeeech. He's done a great job behind the plate and all (even though he couldn't throw out Bea Arthur trying to steal. What, too soon?), but let's just hope he doesn't try and give The Cure a hitting tutorial when he gets the call up.
Grade: C-.

Cesar Izturis – .230, 1 HR, 8 RBI, 6 runs, 2 doubles
We certainly didn't sign Izzy for his bat, and I hope he didn't pull the wool over anyone's eyes with his Opening Day homer. That's his one for the year. No mas. One thing I do like about Izzy is that he makes contact. He'll put the ball in play and at least give any runners on a chance to move over and get them in scoring position for the Big Birds. But let's call a spade a spade, he's about as close to an everyday out as you can get for an everyday player.
Grade: C, for his defense.

Felix Pie – .167, 1 HR, 2 RBI, 4 runs, 0 doubles
I'm officially out of patience with this dude. He LF play is questionable at best. He swings at pitches behind him. He punches infants. OK, I made that last one up. But seriously, how long does he have to play himself out of a job? I know he's out of options and that the job is his to lose, but hasn't he almost lost it yet? Tell you what, if Nolan Reimold keeps lighting shit up in Norfolk, he'll be up faster than you can say "too dee loo, Felix."
Grade: F.

Robert Andino – .333, 0 HR, 0 RBI, 2 runs, 0 doubles.
Uh.....at least he's got four hits.
Grade: I haven't really seen enough of him to properly do this....so we'll say a C. He hasn't been too much of a trainwreck when he does play, I suppose.

Ryan Freel – .133, 0 HR, 0 RBI, 2 runs, 0 doubles.
Here's how you don't get fans to like you. Get paid millions while many of your fans are losing jobs every single day, and publicly complain about your role, even though you knew the depth chart when you signed. But I'm willing to give Freel the benefit of the doubt, because I understand he's a competitive dude and just wants a chance. He hasn't done dick so far, though.
Grade: F.

Lou Montanez – .167, 0 HR, 1 RBI, 1 run, 1 double
I know Sweet Lou won the Eastern League triple crown last year, and probably deserved a chance to play up here when Melvin got hurt, but I just haven't seen any progress from him. This isn't his first cup of joe. I like him, but I fear he may be a 4-A player. I think Nolan will do better when he comes up.
Grade: C-. He doesn't get an F because he's only got 12 ABs, and his defense is eh.

So there you go, the first month grades for our hitters. Thank God for the top of the lineup. Now let's see if we can hold on here against Texas and get a series split.

Quick Observations

2009-04-22T20:07:00.002-04:00

Not to knock Mac off the head story here but I have a couple minutes during Hell-Week to post some random thoughts...

Why can't Jeremy Guthrie get ahead of hitters anymore?

A lot of people have asked how the "Sugar Bear" name has come about...After attending a game and an extended stay at Pickle's one weekend last year, my cousin and I, who will remain as an unnamed reader of this blog but rhymes with Ron Bunslap, came up with it over a few drinks and it just seemed to fit. We'll leave it at that.

Absolutely loved seeing Bergy pitch like that in his debut last night. I feel like doing my best Paul Revere imitation: "The pitchers are coming, the pitchers are coming!" Hopefully, Bergy is here to stay and look for David Hernandez or Troy Patton to be up next, followed by the truly elite prospects in Tillman, Arrieta, and Matusz.

Nick Markakis is one of the best two-strike hitters I've seen. I feel like every at-bat he has two strikes and still gets the job done.

Starting to look at the 2009 June First-year Player Draft and it could be very interesting. Obviously, San Diego State pitcher Stephen Strasburg is the top prospect, so with us picking 5th, we have no shot at him. Not to mention word has it that his "advisor" Scott Boras will be asking for a MLB deal worth $25-$50 million. I hope Boras stubs his toe on a Great White's grin. Anyway, Grant Green is a shortstop prospect from USC that I've been keeping my eye on. I feel like he would be an intriguing prospect that could help the O's as Cesar's contract expires at the end of the 2010 season. More on the draft later.

I have officially erased last Friday's game against the Red Sox out of my memory bank. Just pretending it didn't happen. As Mac mentioned earlier, the Prairie Fires assisted me with that task.

Just wanted to chime in while I can. Mac will keep you updated until next Monday, then I'll be back with him full-force.

Welcome to The Show, Kid....(and welcome back, Sugar Bear)

2009-04-22T19:36:00.002-04:00

We've been waiting (some of us patiently, some of us with more rage than George Costanza) for what seems like eons to see some of what Andy Mac is always talking about. "We're going to grow the arms and buy the bats." I hear that sentence in my sleep. And many of us have seen the Baby Birds throw down on the farm, but we hadn't seen them against real Major League sticks in a real, live Major League game.

Until last night.

Brad Bergesen was the first Baby Bird to leave the nest, and pitched about as well as we could have imagined last night against the White Sox, who are a pretty good veteran group of hitters. One earned run on four hits in 5-plus innings. I'll take that every single time.

But once again, un-fucking-earned runs. Holy shit. This time two more, thanks to an error by Wigginton. I really, really can't wait for Mora to get back. Wiggy's too fat to play third. If that grounder last night were a quadruple stacker from Burger King, there's no chance it gets by Chubby. A team that was supposed to be built on defense LEADS THE AL in unearned runs right now. Yeah, it's early. But you never, EVER, want to be No. 1 in that category. Not even after Opening Day. That's how 90-loss seasons happen, man.

But enough of the negativity. Let's get back to Brad (or Ice Berg as a commenter on Camden Chat called him...). A lot to like about this kid. He works extremely quick, which I always like. And he's got good movement on his breaking stuff. He ain't shorting out any radar guns, but he's going to be solid. And you have to love the Skipper's committment to him. He said something along the lines of Bergeson being in the rotation. Last night wasn't a try out. (Yes, I'm too damn lazy to look up the actual quote. You want that, go to the Sun's website). And he said it as he often does, matter-of-factly. Skip doesn't mix words. I wonder if he's like that at home?

Trembley: "Honey, you're making meatloaf tonight, and we're adding it into the regular meal roatation. This isn't a try out for meatloaf. Now don't fuck it up."

Mrs. Trembley: "OK Skip, I'll do my best."

Nice to see Aubrey get the power stroke working again two. I'm 61 percent sure that the first one he hit went over the warehouse. Yeah, I went there. The second one was a bomb too.

And Nick continued to show why he is Big Dick Nick. Like Camden, I heart him. I truely do.

Damn, it just felt good to see the sticks show back up and knock 74-year-old Jose Contreras around a bit. And it's always nice to get back to .500.

As for tonight, we're already losing 3-0 as Guts is off to a rocky start....again. But Sugar Bear's back, which is always a good sign.

Oh, and we just learned that Alfredo Simon is out for the year.

At least I'm leaving you with some good news.

Bullshit Power Rankings, Take 2

2009-04-21T20:13:00.004-04:00

Our first look at one of the Baby Birds, Brad Bergeson, looks like it's going to have to wait a little bit. It's effing pouring at The Yard right now. What the hell is there to do to pass the time? Watch American Idol? Arrrrrggggghhhhhh.

Oh, I know! We'll roll out another edition of the Bullshit Power Rankings. We'll break down what ESPN and Sportsline have to say about our Birds in their weekly rankings, which are meaningless and often leave me contemplating where my world went wrong. Without further ado:

ESPN
O's – 22 (Prev. 13). "Baltimore lost the first three games of its series in Boston to drop to .500 for the first time in the season." Fair enough, although we are the lowest ranking .500 team in these rankings (note: ESPN posted their rankings when we were 6-6). I mean, they have the fucking Pirates ahead of us. Really? Come on. Although the Pirates have thrown four shutouts. Which is more confusing than the ending of "Castaway." Also, ESPN has FOUR teams that were below .500 at the time ranked ahead of us. Unreal.

Here's where they had the rest of the AL East.
Cito Sucks – 4 (Prev. 6). Top ranked AL team by ESPN, but they should be in the top 3 for how they have been playing. Kevin Millar is still the AL East's slut.

Pussies (that's NY for those unsure) – 6 (Prev. 5). Whatever. Wang's ERA is Liz-esque.

Douchebags (that would be Boston) – 8 (Prev. 15). Ortiz is more overrated than Ashton Kutcher.

Flukes (Rays) – 17 (Prev. 8). Hi Tampa, I'm Earth. Welcome home.

SPORTSLINE
O's – 25 (Prev. 15). "In the months to come, we'll point to the second inning of last Friday's game in Boston, when the O's held a 7-0 lead, as the precise moment when the team's season started its inevitable downward spiral ... Silly me, I thought Ty Wigginton was inked to help the offense ... Coming soon to an Internet terminal near you: "Waiting On Wieters," a parody targeting the huge baseball/Beckett (Sam, not Josh) crossover audience. Webby nominating committee, take notice." Sportsline is always so fucking condescending. I despise the majority of their writers. If they didn't have the best fantasy league sites on the Interwebs, I'd probably never visit their site. Stop trying to act like you know anything about us, Larry Dobrow.

Cito Sucks – 4 (Prev. 6).

Pussies – 10 (Prev. 10). Ha.

Douchebags – 5 (Prev. 12). Waaaay too high right now.

Flukes – 12 (Prev. 2).

OK, Bradley's warming up. It's game time.

Jackpot.

We just lost four straight to these fucks

2009-04-20T20:45:00.002-04:00

(Yup, we just gave douchebags like this reason to cheer again. Great.)

They were down. All we had to do was kick them. Instead we slipped on a banana peel like the O'Doyle family and plummeted. Instead of taking a station wagon off a cliff, though, we fell down the AL East standings this weekend. Fast.

The Red Sox were reeling (if you can consider a team "reeling" nine games into the season) at 3-6, and we were sitting pretty at 6-3. We had our "ace" on the hill against big, fat, sweaty Brad Penny. And we had a seven run lead. And, well, you know what happened from there. The dreaded four game fucking sweep.

Sorry for the lack of updates the past couple of days. Both Camden and I have had some pretty hectic schedules. After more than a month of being a deadbeat out of a job, I finally landed one, and had to go back to work. So instead of sleeping until 10 and doing absolutely nothing, I've had to adjust to a normal schedule again. Bullshit, I know. As for Camden, he's busy being smart and finishing up his master's degree. Showoff. Anyway, I'm adjusted now, and Camden is in his final week of grad school. So I'll be your pilot the rest of the week. And I'm starting with a long, long fucking post. So get comfy, it's going to be a long ride tonight.

We're taking this shit pile game by game. And we'll be back tomorrow with our regularly scheduled program, including the Bullshit Power Rankings, Memories of the Magic, and perhaps a live blog thrown in.

Let's start with Friday. Ugh.

Man, I started the night sitting at a bar, ice cold beer in hand, watching the Birds light up Sweat Face Penny. A couple of bases loaded walks, an RBI single by B-Rob (we still need a nickname for him, by the way. Any suggestions?) and, of course, the big grand slam from Big Dick Nick. After that hit, by the way, Camden texted me something like, "I heart him. Gayly." And then he did four Prairie Fires. Needless to say, good times.

But they didn't last long.

A couple of homeruns later off of Guts, a predictably mediocre outing from Baez and some unearned runs later and POOF – seven run lead, gone. The Prairie Fires that ensued weren't out of celebration. I swear, unearned runs take years off my life. If there's one thing this team can't afford, it's to give runs away. I understand errors happen. But during this five-game losing skid (and before that even), there have been WAAAAAY too many unearned runs. This team is built on hitting and defense. If our pitchers keep the ball in the park, it's got to be caught. Or we're fucked.

This wasn't as bad as the Mother's Day Massacre, but it sure wasn't any better. Let's just move on.

Saturday:
Adam Fucking Eaton. Shit Sack went four innings and was hitting like 62 on the radar gun, lobbing meatballs to Kevin Youkilis, who was a triple shy of the cycle. We did ding up Josh Beckett, though, scoring four runs in the fifth to make a game out of it. But we couldn't touch the bullpen.

However, with all the bad that Shit Sack brought in his start, the bullpen picked him up. I can't believe I'm going to type this, but Brian Bass actually had a good outing. And Chris Ray looked sharp once again. I can't shake the feeling that he's going to have a hell of a year.

Sunday:
Don't look now, but on Sunday we actually had a starter pitch seven innings! Wow! Unfortunately, Lester the Molester had his stuff working. It figures that he'd work out the kinks he started the year with against us. With Papeldouche unavailable, the O's almost made a ninth inning comeback, but came up short.

Again, you've got to be impressed with Koji's outing. He's not the second coming or anything, but he's going to be solid for us this year. And he's going to be a guy that can go six or seven innings most of the time. Tough loss for him, especially after giving up 7 against Texas and getting the win.

Today:
Today fucking sucked. I was stuck at work, following it on the computer while we got destroyed. Patriot's Day games are gay. All in all, Mark Hendrickson wasn't that bad. Although, it's pretty sad that a starter throws 100 pitches in five innings and it's considered a really good start. Hey, that's our staff. And then there was Radhames Liz. Oh fuck, Radhames Liz. He of the 36 ERA. Let's just move on.

There's no reason to be concerned about the offense, but two runs in two days (including only one today off a spot starter) isn't good. To expect them to keep hitting like they started all season long is unrealistic, but it just sucks when they don't hit. Not that they can be expected to score 13 runs every night anyway.

So it was a terrible four days. And I can't stomach typing any more about it. But let's look at a few observations before we move on and look forward to Bergeson's start tomorrow night.
• Ty Wigginton needs to start hitting soon. I need power from him. After all, isn't that why we signed him?
• Please God dont' let Sugar Bear's hammy be hurt. The last thing we need is for him to get hurt. He's in the middle of becoming a man. And I hope it isn't shot to hell by a damn injury.
• Good thing Izzy can field, because he can't hit a lick.
• Matt Wieters can't get here soon enough. Although Zaun has been probably better than I expected him to be.
• Felix Pie is poop.
• We're running out of bench players after Freel took one in the dome today. I say they call up Sweet Lou Montanez. Dude deserves another shot. For the love of Pete, he can't possibly hit worse than Freel or Pie are right now.
• I hate Boston. Seriously.
• Tomorrow is a much-needed day off, and the boys can't get back to The Yard soon enough. Here's hoping Bergeson can give us a quality start and we can get back to shocking the world.

Here's that dreaded third game of a series again...

2009-04-15T21:52:00.002-04:00

(Sugar Bear hit an absolute rocket in the 10th inning last night. Image via the Sun.)

What is it about the third game of a three game series? It's getting weird now. We beat a team two straight – and then get absolutely blown the fuck out in the series finale. I meant to get on here during the game tonight and do a quick recap of last night's game, but Mark Hendrickson just proved that he's, well, Mark Hendrickson, and Radhames Liz just gave up a grand slam on the first fucking pitch he threw. Some things never change. So it's 10-3 in the fourth inning right now. Wait...make that 11-3. Holy fuck. But hey, with Kris Benson on the hill, I suppose no lead is safe for Texas.

Still another series win any way you slice it. Hey, the whiskey bottle's half-full right?

Anyway, last night was a very, very good win for this club. Simon leaves very early with an injury (*restrained jubilation*), forcing the bullpen, which has been about as stable as Gary Busey (who is fucking insane, by the way), to get stretched out – again. But instead of wilting, Sarfate, Walker, Ray and JJ came out and looked GREAT, and gave us a chance to win. And then Sugar Bear unloaded in the 10th, and Gritbag Jones added a double. Of course, the Brim Reaper came in in the 10th and scared the moose piss out of us once again, but he got the job done. (Note: Ray's looking very sharp, and I think he'll take over for Breezy soon. He's a trainwreck just waiting to happen.)

So great win last night, but once again, a ton of innings for the bullpen. Then we wake up today and learn that Simon's out at least a month, and then Pig Vomit (that's Hendrickson, FYI) comes out and can't get through four fucking innings to give the guys a breather. The good news? Brad Bergeson will probably be up next week. Roch thinks he'll start Tuesday against Chicago.

Great, now it's 12-3. Son of a mother. 8 unearned runs that inning. I just threw up in my mouth.

So what can we REALLY take from these first three series? I haven't the slightest. Assuming we don't come back from a 12-3 hole tonight (again, though, with Benson on the hill, anything's possible), we're looking at 6-3, with series wins in all three opening sets. I mean, any one of us reading this would've taken that before Opening Day. It's just the innings the bullpen is being forced to eat up is going to murder us very soon. Just off the top of my head, I can only remember one Oriole pitcher going at least 6 innings through the first 9 games (Guthrie in that excellent start against Tampa). I mean, how can we expect these guys to last five more months at this pace? I have a feeling that we're going to see some of those Baby Birds this season, even though that wasn't the plan. Andy Mac and Trembley might not have a choice, if starters can't get out of the fourth fucking inning on a nightly basis. Ridiculous.

If this score remains this lopsided, that'll be three blowout losses for the Birds. But they never seem to win games easy. I know a win is a win is a win is a win, I'm just thinking out loud here. Who knows what the hell I'm saying at this point.

The off day tomorrow is much needed, I know that much. And it's going to be a big fucking weekend in Boston.

And we'll be flying high after we score 10 unanswered tonight....

Week One power rankings

2009-04-14T20:01:00.003-04:00

I figured week to week, we'll take a look at where our O's stand in the MLB power rankings put up around the Internets, and compare that to the rest of the AL East. After a very solid first week, of course, we're still getting no respect.

ESPN:
Orioles – 13. (previous ranking: 27): "Adam Jones is displaying his great talent, and Japanese pitcher Koji Uehara silenced the Yankees in his major league debut."

Yanks – 5 (previously 3)

Sox – 15 (previously 1)

Jays – 6 (previously 21)

Rays – 8 (previously 2)

Now first of all, you can see that the WWL had the AL East 1-2-3 in its preseason rankings, which is insane. It just baffles me how we can be behind two teams we took 2 out of 3 from. Remember, these rankings are supposed to ONLY based on how a team has performed so far this season. And right now, the O's have out-performed TB and NY. Toronto got some respect, though.

CBS Sportsline:
O's – 15 (were 20): "The ledger says they're 5-2, with four of those wins coming against AL East bullies. Who am I to argue with this? ... Of course, they've been outscored by two runs. ... I heard one pundit say the Orioles are playing with "spirit." Get out the pom-poms, y'all. ... They'll take their lumps, owing to a pitching staff that might charitably be described as lacking, but they'll score enough runs and catch the ball (especially in the outfield) well enough to rise to the rank of "interesting" for the first time since the late 1990s."

Tampa – 2 (were 3)

Jays – 6 (were 13)

Yanks – 10 (were 2)

Sox – 12 (were 4)

So let me get this straight, the Jays are in first place and ranked BEHIND the Rays? And the O's are a 1/2 game out and ranked behind everyone in the division? Now, I'm not saying that in the long run we're going to finish ahead of Tampa, Boston or New York, but right now, we're playing better. We took 2 of 3 from both the Rays and Yanks, so how can they validate those rankings? Again, these are a "snapshot in time" (Sportsline's exact words). Well, at this moment in time, we are 5 and fucking 2.

I know these power rankings are bullshit and don't mean dick, but it honestly baffles me how professional journalists who are paid to do nothing but write about baseball can be so bad. What do you guys think?

Personally, I LOVE that we get no respect. I love the us against the world mentality. Let's embrace it.

Go Birds.

We got the Magic Stick(s)

2009-04-14T00:22:00.004-04:00

If you can't pitch, you better be able to hit. I think we'll all agree that pretty much will some up the 2009 Orioles season and tonight's 10-9 win over the Texas Rangers certainly is a microcosm of that. We had our "#2" starter (and I use that term loosely) on the bump tonight and he was not as advertised. Control was supposed to be his biggest strength, yet walking two guys with a 6 run lead literally wants me to light myself on fire. It's his second MLB start, we'll give him a pass, after all, he was the "winning" pitcher, wink wink, nudge nudge.

As for our line-up, I have a few observations and they are aaaaaalllllllll good. First and foremost, Nick and B-Rob are something else at the plate right now, you guys see their at-bats, no words necessary. SugarBear did have a run-scoring double, however he still reminds us from time-to-time that he is only 23 years old as he looks very bad on some strikeouts. I don't view this as a bad thing as it shows he hasn't even scratched his potential in the box yet. Huff was great and I expect him to be solid all year, but the thing that pleased me most was Felix Pie's offensive game tonight. He was 3-4 with his first Oriole big-fly and we had our first glimpse of all that potential this kid has somewhere inside of him. It was very encouraging. Also, good to see Ty Wiggington off the bench with a couple run-scoring base-hits.

I want to briefly talk about the ninth inning because a couple things stand out. The Brim Reaper is never pretty, but he's gutsy, you always get his best effort, and more often than not, he gets the job done. The play of the night was clearly Nick's running catch at the wall. When that ball was hit I thought for sure we had a tie game with the winning run on second with no outs. Instead, Nick gives his best Willie Mays impression and basically saves the game. when I wrote the season preview for our outfielders, I wrote that Nick is gone to do at least one thing a night that makes you say wow...done and done.

Finally, it was a big win. Not only because it starts our first road trip of the season on a good note, but also because we didn't blow a 6 run lead, especially with Simon and Hendrickson due to pitch in the final two games at that Bandbox of a stadium in Dallas. A loss tonight would have extinguished all of the early season momentum we have gained thus far. A win is a win is a win is a win!

One quick Minor League note tonight. Chris Tillman, our top pitching prospect, made his debut as the youngest pitcher in Triple-A tonight. He was absolutely dominating, going four no-hit innings, striking out 5. A very, very big performance for the Baby Bird. Also, Matt Wieters was his catcher and he went 2-4 with a walk and an RBI. See you pups at the 'Yard real soon!

Hey Brian Bass....

2009-04-12T17:36:00.003-04:00

Eat shit. They should send you back to Delmarva. Actually, you'll probably get rocked there too. Maybe Bluefield is more your skill level.

Guts, Sticks ensure another series win.

2009-04-12T10:53:00.003-04:00

(Melvin's only got 7 RBI in the Birds' last two games. Not too shabby.)

Well, well. Another night, another Orioles win, another series win. Sorry about the lack of a game update from Friday night's game, but let's go over Friday and Saturday night, shall we?

We'll start with Friday:
Um, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that's about as good as we'll see Mark Hendrickson throw. The big, gangly had a pretty good outing, and the sticks continued to smoke. It was nice to see the offense bounce back after a bad game on Thursday and put it on the Rays. Oh, and Carl Crawford, you don't run on Nick. Ever. Lesson learned, homes.

Of course, the shit storm that has been the bullpen had to go and make it interesting, serving up Longoria on a fucking tee. And Flat Breezy absolutely cannot let a guy like Dioneer Navarro take him Yard in the ninth of a close game. I think once Ray's velocity gets back up, he needs to take over that closer role again.

Last night:
Guts was about as good as he can be last night, giving us a much needed quality start with his six scoreless innings. And, as we know, most of the work was done in the first, when Mora hit his salami and Nick and B-Rob both had doubles. The top of this lineup is borderline orgasmic right now. B-Rob, Sugar Bear and Nick the Dick are STROKING the baseball right now. Huff is off to a slow start, but Mora is red hot. It's nice to see the top 5 in our lineup hit. Very nice. And Ray looked good out of the pen last night. Finally.

All in all, we've won our first two series of the year. Both against AL East opponents. Can't complain about that, O's fans. I couldn't believe that we had lost 12 straight games to the Rays last year. Wow. That's like going out to the bar in college for 12 straight nights without hooking up with a girl. Seems impossible right? But that's over now. It's a new day.

Let's see what happens today against Shields as Eaton makes his Orioles debut.

A Series Win...

2009-04-09T21:08:00.002-04:00

Well, we didn't get the sweep today and it looks like the best we can do is 161-1 in 2009, bummer. Just wanted to recap a couple things we can take from the opening series of the year:

Any series win over the Yanks is great and at the beginning of the year it's even sweeter
O's fans, we MUST continue to protect the 'Yard. Opening day was phenomenal, but Mac was there today and said the Yanks fans were in full-force. What can I say, they love their third place team. It's the best third place team money can buy.
If you would have asked me to take 3-3 at the end of the Yanks and Rays' series, I would have taken it. As long as this weekend isn't a complete disaster, it will have been a solid first week
Also, is it me, or do the Yanks just not seem like the Yanks anymore? They seem old or something
However, if they get into the playoffs with a healthy CC and AJ, they will be a tough out in a 7 game series
Also, It was great to see Amber Theoharis at the park again. She def hasn't lost her fastball. I was upset to hear she got engaged in the offseason

We are supposed to get a TON of rain tomorrow, but I am heading down to the 'Yard for the series opener against the Rays regardless. I'll be there early and I'll try to get Mac some pics to post.

Also wanted to mention a trip a bunch of us are planning. Saturday, May 23rd we play the Nats in DC. I would like the get as many O's fans there as possible for the tailgate at RFK and we'll take the free bus over to the Nat's stadium. I'll be doing a full post with details about this in the very near future, but just wanted to throw it out tonight as a sort of save the date. We went last year and it was a BLAST.

Last but certainly not least. RIP Nick Adenhart. What a tragic story. A Maryland kid who seemed to be a good pitcher and great person. That news has been eating at me all day.

Koji's debut: O's vs. Yanks, LIVE BLOG

2009-04-08T18:17:00.001-04:00

O's vs. Yanks – LIVE BLOG

Colin Cowherd is a douche

2009-04-08T11:52:00.003-04:00

OK, by now I'm sure we all know who Colin Cowherd (or "Schrutebag", as he is known in the blogosphere) is and, if you've ever had the misfortune of tuning into his show, you know how much of a blithering douchebag he is. Cowherd is awful. He spews stupid shit from his suck hole, often without any semblance of research whatsoever (I'm not the first person to make this claim, some writers much more respected and famous than I (ahem, Bill Simmons) have done the same). And yesterday, Schrutebag reached a new level of fucktardedness by bashing us O's fans for booing Mark Teixeira.

Here's just one example of the shit he threw at us, Birdland:
"Bottom line? You don't get booed unless you matter. Nobody boos the Baltimore Orioles when they're on the road because nobody cares. Oriole fans are a symbol of what's wrong with America. Jealousy, anger, and resentment toward the successful people. Oriole fans, you may not be sharp enough to get this, but you just validated Teixeira and validated why nobody talks about you on the radio. Orioles fans, you may think you won last night, but you came across as small, angry, petty, clueless, and phony."

Really Cowherd? Really? Mindless drivel, right? OK, so I'm going to break this bullshit down and tell you why he's a moron (and that goes for every other screaming head on ESPN that bashed us as well).
1. "You don't get booed unless you matter." – probably the only thing he said that's actually true.
2. "Nobody boos the O's on the road." – No shit. It's not that nobody cares. Trust me, if we come into Fenway and beat the Sox in September, they'll care. Nobody boos us because we don't have any unlikable assholes on our team, and our fans aren't cocky, arrogant fuckwads.
3. "Oriole fans are a symbol of what's wrong with America." Whhhhhaaaaaaaaaat? Why, because we CARE about our franchise? Fucking Boston fans booed the shit out of A-Rod when he went to the Yanks (and he was far from a Bahstan boy), and what do people like Cowherd do? They laugh it off. "Boston fans have SO MUCH PASSION!" Fuck off. Oh, why did we REALLY boo Tex? Again, do your fucking homework. Not only is he FROM Maryland, but he said shit like this in the past (quotes from Dempsey's Army):

That would really be a dream come true.
- Teixeira on playing for Baltimore, March 2007

The Orioles are close to my heart.
- Mark Teixeira, May 2008

In a year and a half, we'll have some fun conversations. Baltimore, obviously in the future, is a place I'd love to look at.
- Mark Teixeira, July 2007

So yeah, put all of that shit on the table, and then add the fact that once he did sign in NY, he admitted to attended O's games while wearing a Yanks hat and rooting for Mattingly over Cal and Eddie. And then after the game saying that he'd be an Oriole in a perfect world. Gee, wonder why we booed him.

Anyway, I'm getting off track. So let me get this straight Cowherd, blue collar people who work fucking hard for the money to buy those tickets are a symbol of what's wrong with America? Really? We didn't boo him because we're jealous that he's successful. We booed him because he wrote checks about his hometown team that he didn't cash. Trust me, if he would've never mentioned wanted to play for Baltimore, it wouldn't have been so bad. I'll tell you what a symbol of what's wrong with America is. The fact that dickheads like you with absolutely NO integrity are paid hundreds of thousands a year to spew ridiculous claims, while honest, hardworking Americans are put out on the street daily because they can't find work.

4. "Oriole fans, you may not be sharp enough to get this, but you just validated Teixeira and validated why nobody talks about you on the radio. Orioles fans, you may think you won last night, but you came across as small, angry, petty, clueless, and phony." – OH, I GET it! Oriole fans aren't smart! How clever! Oh, we validated why no one talks about us on the radio? OH NO! Newsflash douche, fans don't really give a flying fuck if you talk about us on the radio. Oriole fans LOVE that people think our organization is still a joke. We love that you don't think we'll ever win a title again, because that means you don't know dick. You don't know that we have arguably the best young pitching in baseball. You don't know about Sugar Bear or The Cure or Nick the Dick.

And the last I checked, Tex went 0-for-4 on Opening Day and the Birds won 10-5, so, yeah, we do think we won. BECAUSE WE WON THE GAME YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

You know what? I'm done talking about this moron. I know I take sports too seriously, but saying that a group of fans is a symbol of what's wrong with America is asinine. Sports are an escape. If we want to boo Teixeira, so the fuck what? Mind your business and keep going down on the Sawx and Yanks. We like it that way.

And in 2011, when Arrieta, Matusz, Tillman, Wieters and company are taking this league by storm, don't fucking talk about us on your radio show.

I know that you only say stupid shit like that to be "shocking" Colin. Ooooh, you're the Howard Stern of sports talk radio! You rebel you. SVP is 100 times the radio host you are, and trust me, you're no Stern either.

The only reason you are relevant is because you go on stupid rants about topics like this, which you know nothing about, to get a rise out of people. Congratulations, douche.

O What a Day!

2009-04-07T20:25:00.002-04:00

I don't even know where to begin. Now that it's been 24 hours and I've been able to catch my breath after that beat-down of the Yanks, I figured I would come up with a short list of observations and happenings from the best Opening Day at the 'Yard since, well, it opened.

1) The crowd was fantastic. Yankee fans, while there were a few of them, were non-existent. They didn't have a point of view, and hit the road early after recognizing when they have been beaten.

2) The wet weather early on didn't effect the city at all. From the time Pickle's opened up, until the post game celebration was going on, there were people everywhere. Not to mention it was the largest crowd in OD history at the 'Yard.

3) CC Sabathia is ridiculously huge. When I think of him being 33 years old, weighing 400 lbs, and the Yanks still owing him more than $80 million, I smile.

4) Couldn't agree more with Mac about the boos getting to Texiera. Him jumping up and down like a high school girl with a Zac Efron poster was funny to see.

5) Speaking of the boos...WOW! I heard it was loud on tv, well you should have been there. Absolutely deafening. I was so proud of the O's fans yesterday.

6) Female O's fans at the yard yesterday - very solid. We haven't even gotten to halter-top weather yet and I was thoroughly impressed.

7) A little bit of an exchange I had with a Yankee's fan at Pickle's pre-game:

Camden: "$200 million is an awful lot to finish in third place."

Yankee Fan: "Whatever man, without our money, you guys would have never been able to sign Adam Jones."

OOOOOOOOOOOOkkkkkkkkkkk then!!!!!!!!!

8) When Cesar stroked that homer (in our section), the place erupted. There was beer flying, hugs with friends, hugs with random strangers. Just an awesome, awesome moment.

9) Nice new feature on the big scoreboard. When George Sherrill was summoned to the mound, the scoreboard erupted with a "Brim Reaper" tribute. Good stuff.

10) The post-game celebration was unbelievable. On our way to Pickle's, I actually stopped in the middle of the street and rubbed the belly of the traffic director. He was about 6-5, 300 lbs. (It had been a long day to this point).

11) The "First-Place Jig" was in effect in the streets in front of the bar. A certain colleague and myself were dancing obnoxiously for a good 20 minutes, and the moment was so awesome, not only did people not mind, I think they were entertained.

All in all, it was a tremendous day in Baltimore. A better begining to the 2009 baseball season could not have been scripted. This team is going to have a few ups and a few downs to say the least, but they are going to be an exciting team to watch. We finally have young talent that is going to serve as our foundation and let me tell you, these kids are GOOD. There will be a different story every night, but as for now, Opening Day 2009 is one that will never be forgotten by the Bird's faithful.

Scenes from the Yard/Recapping a win

2009-04-07T11:13:00.006-04:00

My apologies for not posting anything during the game as promised yesterday. Of course, my computer picked Opening Day to take a shit, and I didn't have Internet access at all. So here are the pics from Camden's trip to the Yard yesterday, and a little recap on the game.

(Camden got to Pickles awfully early. Good times.)

(It rained early in the day, but that didn't scare away too many fans.)

(Camden's view from his seats, pretty close to Cesar's homer.)

Yesterday was beautiful, wasn't it Birds fans? I know it's really, really early, but we are in first place and all. We stuffed a big fat crow burger down C.C.'s fat gullet, and, yes, the booing got to Teixeira. I don't say this often, but I'm proud of each and every one of who in attendance for booing the piss out of him. By the way, did anyone see Baseball Tonight last night? They just don't get why Tex was being booed unmercifully. I think Gammons said something like, "Gavin Floyd's from Baltimore and they don't boo him like that when he comes back. I don't get it." No Peter, you don't. Now go back to stroking Theo Epstein's ego. (Sorry, I really like Gammons. But sometimes he says some shit that I just don't get.)

It was quite refreshing to watch an O's-Yanks game on TV and actually hear the orange and black over the pinstripers. We'll see if that continues tomorrow and Thursday. I'm going Thursday, and I'm fully expecting to be outnumbered. We'll see.

Let's talk about the offense first, shall we? The top of our order did what it should do all year long – get on base. A lot. B-Rob and Sugar Bear were both lights out (I think they scored like 7 runs or something). Roberts did make that one mistake of getting picked off, but that splitting hairs. You have to love Sugar Bear's opposite field triple and the fact that he didn't chase any bad pitches. God I love him.

Nick the Dick did what he does as well, banging out a couple hits. I was surprised that Trembley hit Mora at cleanup, but I'm assuming that was only because they were facing a lefty and wanted to split Nick and Huff up. All in all, when you don't strike out one single time against C.C., that's a great day. Good discipline from the hitters.

And how about Cesar? Izzy showed his range, making some nice plays in the field, and had two hits, including that HUGE bomb in the 8th. Oh sure, Johnny Damon boo hooed to the umps that there was fan interference on the ball (like Damon could actually catch a fly ball anyway). Anyway, not that it in any way eases the pain from Jeff Maier, but I just want to say: HOW THE FUCK DOES IT FEEL DICKBAGS? Of course, the difference between Opening Day and the ALCS is huge, but still.

OK, now about pitching. Guts pitched well. He was very sharp for five innings, but seemed to tire a bit in the sixth and left a few pitches up in the zone. But I'll take six strong every time out. At least he wasn't the shit storm we saw in the spring.

The bullpen was......eh. Ray gave up a bomb. And the only reason Jamie Walker isn't collecting unemployment is because they want him to get left handed hitters out, and it doesn't seem like he can do it. And it drives me fucking craaaaazy. I think something's wrong with JJ because he just doesn't seem as sharp either. But none of that matters (for now), because Flat Breezy came in and slammed that door.

One more thing about Tex. Here's how I know the boos were getting to him. When Matsui hit that homer off of Ray to get the Yanks within 1, Tex raised his arms and yelled, almost like Matsui just hit a walkoff. Meanwhile, all of hit teammates behind him just sat on the bench. Let me tell you, Major League players don't react that happily when someone hits a homer on Opening Day to get their team within one. They just don't. Tex looked like Matsui just homered in the playoffs. He reacted that way because he wanted nothing more than for the Yanks to win and shut up the crowd that was booing him so much. And he didn't get his fucking wish. And that makes me happy. Very happy.

All in all, good times at the Yard yesterday Birds fans. And Camden will be back tonight to tell you about all the things you didn't see on camera. Till then, enjoy doing that first place jig while we can.

The most wonderful day of the year is upon us...

2009-04-06T09:24:00.002-04:00

Happy Opening Day everyone! Hot damn, I feel like a kid on Christmas. There's something about Opening Day that just puts an extra hitch in my giddy up. I just got off the horn with Camden, and he is on 95 as I type this, on his way to Pickles (yes, already). He'll be sending me pics throughout the day, and I'll put them up when I get them, so check back for that.

In the meantime, here's a little something to get you ready for today's game. Ladies and gentlemen, The Booooog Pows. (No, this is not us or anyone we know. But god damn it's funny.)

Calling All Arms

2009-04-05T11:53:00.004-04:00

(Balt. Sun)

Before we get into looking at the pitching situation, oh God I just threw-up in my mouth, there are a couple things I wanted to mention. First things first, Mac did a trial run last night of a live game blog that we will do every so often during this season. It's pretty simple, if you are watching the game, you can log on and we can all have a running dialogue here at "33rd & Eutaw." I'm sure it will get pretty colorful at times. Secondly, as we all know, tomorrow is the big day and I'll be in Baltimore posting pics from Pickle's during the pregame and from inside the 'Yard once the festivities start. I'll be at the games on Monday and Friday and Mac will be there Thursday, so we should have some good stuff to offer from the 'Yard's first week of activity in 2009. Check back with us throughout the day on Monday (and pray to the Baseball Gods for no rain!)

Now for the pitching. It is what it is and I'm not going to tell you anything that isn't clear to a regular observer. Guthrie is solid, however he is a #3 starter. Koji Uehara is a bit of a wildcard, however he throws strikes and should keep us in games. After that, well, shit. I look for this to be a revolving door throughout the season with Simon, Hendrickson, and Eaton getting first crack at it. It's funny because I am sitting at the computer alone, and I still got embarrassed typing those three names. There is help on the way as the farm is stacked with as much young pitching talent as any organization in baseball. The guys that should come at some point this year to help include Brad Bergeson, David Hernandez, and Troy Patton. These guys are solid prospects but Andy Macphail's whole rebuilding plan rests are the broad shoulders of three names: Chris Tillman, Jake Arrieta, and Brian Matusz. This trio is the best collection of elite pitching talent in the Minor Leagues. If they are as advertised, then we will have a chance real soon in the AL Beast. Look for Tillman to make his debut sometime in the second half of the season, while Arrieta (Boras client) and Matusz should make their Charm City debut in 2010.

The bullpen actually has a lot of quality arms that should play a pivotal role in any future success for the franchise. Chris Ray has elite stuff and will regain the role of closer sooner than later. Jim Johnson finally seems to have found his niche on the mound as an 8th inning set-up man. Sherrill and Walker are two savvy lefties who are possible trade-bait as well. Radhames Liz's transition to the bullpen is interesting as he has late-inning stuff if he can consistantly repeat his delivery. He'll try to work out the kinks in Norfolk. Albers is rock-solid. Of course, Danys Baezs is still here, making $6 million a year, and fucking my world up. He may be released before the end of the season.

Our Major League staff leaves plenty to be desired, however our pitching prospects are the envy of every farm director in baseball. Try to remember that we likely aren't going to be in the playoffs this year and a lot of these guys wont be around much longer. Instead, track the progress nightly in the Minors and allow yourself to get excited for the "Baby Birds" that will be migrating to the 'Yard in the near future. And remember, tomorrow is Opening Day, it's the best time of the year!

O's vs. Nats – LIVE BLOG

2009-04-04T17:26:00.004-04:00

O's vs Nats â��Â LIVE BLOG

LIVE BLOG coming today

2009-04-04T13:47:00.003-04:00

During the season, Camden and I will be live blogging some big games that the Birds are in. We'll get that crackin' today at 6 p.m. with the preseason matchup against the Nats (think of it as spring training for us before the regular season starts). So if you're watching the game at home and want to drop by and hang out with us, please do so. Or if you don't get MASN and want to follow along, come chill.

Alfredo Simon (above) will be on the bump today. Oh boy.

See you at 6, and then Camden will be back after the game with a look at the starters.

Image via the Baltimore Sun.

Infield Chatter

2009-04-03T14:19:00.007-04:00

(Brian Roberts obviously believes in the future for the O's. If he believes, why shouldn't you? Oh, because they didn't offer you $40 million to root for them. Good point.)

Last night, Camden took a gander at the Birds who will be patrolling the grass at the Yard this summer and, I don't know about you, but I smiled at the thought of Sugar Bear and Nick the Dick getting it done night in and night out.

So now lets take a look at who will be doing work on the infield this season for Dem O's. The Dirty Birds. God, I'm a big effing dork. This will round out our look at the everyday players and then we'll get into the pitching staff. And we'll all want to shotgun lighter fluid when we do. OK, enough chit chat, let's get into the O's infield.

I'm not going to get into the prospects here too much, because we likely won't see many this summer, barring injury (with one HUGE exception – I think we all know who). So let's start behind the dish and work our way around. Camden assigned each player a music quote, and that was cool, but I'm more of a movie guy.

(Hang on, I'm not feeling the juices right now. Let me crack open a cold Budweiser and throw in a chew....ah, there we go. Time to fuckin' roll).

Anyway, we'll do a movie quote for each player to spruce the shit up a bit. And why not start with arguably the most quoted, played out comedy of the decade, Anchorman? Why? Because I've seen it 4 trillion times and it still makes me laugh. Out loud.

"I know what you're thinking and the answer is, yes, I do have a nickname for my penis. It's called The Octagon. But I've also nicknamed my testes. The left one is James Westfall and the right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you just might get to meet the whole gang."

To the Opening Day starting catcher, Gregg Zaun. I always wondered, what's with the two g's on Gregg? Should I go by Macc? Gregg Olson was the same way. Creeps me the fuck out. Anyway, we all know Double G is just keeping the spot warm for The Cure (that's Matt Wieters, in case you weren't sure), so I'm not too worried about his performance. If nothing else, he gives the Birds' pitchers a veteran presence and a solid glove. And it'll be nice to have a wily vet for The Cure to lean on when he gets the call to come up and liberate us all. Can he hit? Eh, not really. But he's not an automatic out. Fuck, he can't be a worse hitter than Paul Bako.

Why the quote? I don't know, I can just picture Double G out at a bar in Canton using this line of a couple of chesty broads.

"I don't know how to put this...but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me."

To The Cure. Matty W. It's only a matter of time before he's lighting shit up in the bigs, but how soon is too soon? For most of us, April 6 isn't soon enough. But let's let him rip tits in Norfolk for a few weeks and work on calling a game a bit, and then come up and give us all wet dreams. My guess? He'll be up before Memorial Day. When he does come up, he's an immediate impact player. I'm not going to dwell on his ability too much, because we all know what he can do. I honestly think that if he spends his career in Baltimore, they may have to make room for 15 out there in the retired numbers.

"Go fuck yourself, San Diego."

To Aubrey Huff, the new every day first baseman. I have a feeling Huff Daddy should go on a radio show and talk shit on Baltimore every offseason, if it means we'll get .304, 32 HR, 108 RBI and almost 50 doubles every year. Hell, it won't bother me that much. I mean, I'm not sure which Aubrey to expect this year. Last year's version, or the shit storm we saw in 2007? Talk about a two-face. My guess is somewhere in the middle. He has pretty good lineup protection right now, and he's comfortable in Charm City these days, so I don't expect 30 homers again (but it sure as hell would be nice), but 25 and 100 RBI should be about right. Defensively, he ain't winning any Gold Gloves, but he didn't make any errors in 194 innings at first last year, so he's not a trainwreck either. Could be worse, I suppose.

"I am a MAN! An ANCHOR-man! I'm a man who invented the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn, that's what kind of man I am."

To the heartbeat of the infield and the leader of the club – Brian Roberts. B-Rob proved he believes in the direction the organization is taking by signing that extension a few weeks ago. I honestly didn't think he was going to be around long term, and I'm thrilled to death that he is. Why? Read the quote, homes. Brian Roberts is a fucking MAN on the baseball field. He terrorizes pitchers on the basepaths, he's good for at least 50 doubles, he makes plays in the field, and he brings hot tail to The Yard for us all to drunkenly stare out. He's, in my opinion, the best leadoff hitter in the division and one of the top five leadoff guys in the game. He is 31, though, so I'm not sure how much longer he'll be on top of the game, but it's hard not to love a guy who has spent his entire career here.

"What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Actually I'm not even mad, that's amazing."

To the newest, and most needed, member of the Oriole infield, shortstop Cesar Izturis. Now, don't be misled by the quote, I'm not saying Izzy shits in peoples' refrigerators (maybe he does, what the hell do I know). What I mean is that he's going to do some freaky, Houdini shit in the field this year that's going to amaze us. Amazing shit like Baxter getting into the fridge, eating a wheel of cheese and dropping a deuce. No offense to Freddy Boom Boom Bynum, Wee Willie Keeler, Jeff Reboulet and whoever the fuck else walked through the revolving door of shortstops last year, but getting Izturis is like eating a filet mignon when you're used to $2 steaks at the Golden Corral. Can he hit? Fuck and no. But he's not an automatic out, either. But what he gives them in the field more than makes up for it. Dude's got a Gold Glove and a career fielding percentage of .979. Plus he actually gets to balls in the hole that the Revolving Door and a juiced up Miggy Tejada simply couldn't. He'll lock down this position for the next couple of years (he's only 29).

"Where'd you get those pants, the...toilet store?"

To Izzy's backup, Robert Andino. You know, the career .201 hitter the O's traded former top prospect Hayden Penn for a couple of days ago. Baffling to me why they didn't give Penn a couple of starts just to see what happens (I mean, considering guys like Alfredo Simon are in the rotation), but he had plenty of chances and was out of options. I guess. Anyway, I think this guy's a poor man's Boom Boom Bynum, which basically makes him a bag of shit. Hope I'm wrong.

"We've been coming to the same party for 15 years, and in no way is that pathetic."

To the longest-tenured Bird, Melvin Mora. What a freaking season Mora had last year, topping 20 homers and 100 RBI. In the second half, he was hotter than Lindsay Lohan back before she became a drunk cocaine vaccuum. And he's solid at the hot corner. He's not going to make any of us forget about Brooks, but he gets the job done. Question is, for how much longer? I mean, he IS 37 now. And he has like 14 kids, which I'm sure make him like 10 years older. Brandon Snyder (or Bill Rowell if he ever removes his head from his ass) seems to be the third baseman of the future (if he can get his shit straight this year), but it's Mora for now. If he can stay healthy, he'll be solid.

"I'm proud of you fellas, you all kept your head on a swivel, and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in the middle of a vicious cockfight."

To the enigma of this infield, Ty Wigginton. Can't you picture Wiggy busting skulls if there were a bench clearer? Good times.

Anyway, if Mora gets hurt or breaks a hip or something, Wiggy can fill in at third. He can at least play to give him a rest. I'm actually pretty excited to see what he can do in the Yard. Dude definitely has 20 homer pop, and played very well for Houston last year. I think he could be an x-factor for this club or, at the very least, some damn good trade bait. Another good signing I think.

"Ron, there are literally thousands of men that I should be with, but I'm 72 percent sure that I love you."

To Luke Scott, who looks to be our primary DH. I mean, there are ton of other guys I'd probably rather have in the lineup than Luke, but I'm 72 percent sure that I like him. He's streaky, but he can hit when he's on. It'll be interesting to see how he adjusts to being a full time DH.

Quick funny story about Scott. I called Camden after reading his OF preview last night to ask him why he left out Scott. And he told me, "Because if Luke Scott is in left, we are fucked." Well said.

Overall, it's a solid infield that should put up some serious offensive stats and play some good defense.

OK, that's it for them. Get ready to break out a bottle of Old Grandad, because we're on to the pitching staff now.

Camden, hit 'em with the starters.

Josie's on a Vacation Far Away....

2009-04-02T20:41:00.000-04:00

...A little reference to one-hit wonder "The Outfield" could only mean one of two things - Camden is either making a fool out of himself, drunk off Jack at Klondike Kate's '80s night or it's time to preview the Baltimore Orioles 2009 outfielders. Lucky for you guys, it's the ladder tonight.

This preview is gonna be a little different, I'll take a look at the O's current OF's as well as a couple of guys that should be greeting us in Left Field at the 'Yard later on this summer. Also, just for grins, each player gets a music lyric that reminds me of them. Why? Because it's my blog and I can do what I want. Let's get started.

Nick Markakis, RF, #21 (in case you are stupid and don't know who he is)

"I'm a pimp in every sense of the word, bitch." -Jay-Z

Nick defines the term "Alpha-male." He's 25 years old, he's rich, and he makes a hard game look easy. He is the undisputed cornerstone of this franchise and one of the best all-around players in the game. He is a phenomenal bat at the plate, a heady base-runner, and should be sittin' on at least one Gold Glove, if not two. His six-year extention in January literally added 5 years on to my life. With him patrolling RF for us, hey, we at least have something (Balt. Sun)

to watch every night. I'm thinking .310 with about 28 bombs, 100 RBI and 20 steals, and more importantly, he'll do something that make's you say wow every night. Simply put, he's "The Man."

Adam "Sugar Bear" Jones, CF, #10

"Picture Me Rollin" -Tupac

I would like to take this time to personally thank Bill Bavasi, former GM of the Seattle Mariners, for bending over and taking one for Charm City on the Erik Bedard trade. O's get a Superstar CF in the making, an all-star reliever, and possibly the best pitching prospect in baseball for a whiny bitch that is always hurt. Bill, this Bud's for you, wherever the hell you are. Sugar Bear (let's start referring to him by that for now on), has the tools to be great, and I look for him to show that off even more so in 2009. The kid bleeds athleticism and just needs to put everything together. He worked out with B-Rob in Arizona all off-season and looks to enjoy the fruits of his labor. I'm thinking .280, 18 hrs, 25 steals and stellar "D."

Felix Pie, Left Field, #18

"And you may ask yourself, where does that highway go?" -Talking Heads

Who the hell knows what we have here. All we heard was how if nothing else, he was a sure-thing with the glove, yet he's been a bigger train wreck in left than Britney and Lindsay combined. He was named the Cubs top prospect two years in a row, but I'm not real confident he ever puts it together. I admit I was for the trade, but if Garrett Olson wins 10 games and pitches 180 innings this year and Pie is released by the trade deadline, i'll have to eat a large crow hoagie. I'm not feelin' the dude at all. I say he is replaced in June by...

Nolan Reimold

"Just a little patience, yeah-yeah, some more patience, yeah-yeah" -Guns N Roses

This kid has pop, no-doubt, but when he swings and misses, it looks like an Oklahoma twister. He's gonna have streaks where he hits 5 bombs in a week and he might "K" 15 times in a week. He is very athletic for a big man and should be an asset patrolling left. He's raw, but when it's said and done, I think he is the LF of the future. He'll hit 25-30 bombs a year and strike out a ton. Never an all-star, but when your other two outfielders are all-stars, you just need a solid everyday player. Enter Nolan Reimold.

Also in the mix:

Lou Montanez

"Two out of three ain't bad." -Meatloaf

Can hit for average, can hit for power, couldn't catch an STD on the block at 2 a.m. Should get ab's later in the year as a 4th or 5th OF.

Ryan Freel, Util, #2

"Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the flooooorrr." -Drowning Pool

This guy has an imaginary friend (Farley), runs through walls, steals bases, plays all over the field and thoroughly enjoys himself playing the game. I'll take him.

All in all, I love the outfield. Nick is my man-crush. Sugar is a blossoming star, and we have a couple of intriguing youngsters on the horizon. I think we'll run-down every ball that stays in the 'Yard (which might not be many) in sight and get better every night. What more can you ask for from a rebuilding team?

Mac, hit them with the infield bro...

Camden is Here...

2009-04-01T21:24:00.000-04:00

(The cure for cancer?)

...And that isn't necessarily a good thing. After all, I am an O's fan. Basically, I echo most of Mac's words from earlier this afternoon with just a few things to add. I love the Baltimore Orioles as much as anything on this planet, that should tell you about the issues I have right there. This franchise means the world to me and it always has since I was a baby bird

I love all sports, and by sports I mean baseball, football, basketball, and golf, if Tiger is involved. Baseball however is on another level.

It's a sickness that just isn't curable. Mac and I wanted to start a blog that was a little different than your run-of-the-mill internet blogs. This is a place for O's fans (or haters) to vent their frustrations as well as share their optimism. As Mac mentioned before, this isn't a blog for the faint of heart. The word fuck will be used and it will not be spelled like f*%& or some stupid shit like that, it will be spelled f-u-c-k. We are pretty much down to Earth guys and we are going to call it as we see it.

Mac talked about some of our ideas in his post so I won't bore you with the repeat. I'm sure we will add things and we are definitely open to suggestions. I'm usually not big on the rules and regulations as I don't respond well to authority, but I'm going to leave you with a couple notes:

1) Mac has a fucking gift with the keyboard, read his shit, it's highly entertaining.

2) We know our baseball, so if you want to disagree with us that's fine, but please know what you are talking about.

3) No Nick bashing. If he couldn't do something right, then it can't be done right. I heart him.

I'll be back tomorrow night to get our 2009 preview crackin', come back and see us.

Hello World...

2009-04-01T16:39:00.000-04:00

And welcome, damn it, to 33rd & Eutaw – a blog about the Baltimore Orioles. Now, there are several blogs out there about the Birds, and co-author Camden and I are well aware of that. But this one is going to be a little different and, hopefully, entertaining. Hell, everyone else on earth has a blog, why not us? And, no, we are not fucking losers typing this from our mothers' basements, despite what douchebags like Bob Costas, Buzz Bissinger and Rick Reilly want America to think.

Let me start by saying that this is not a family blog. We will be cursing. A lot. Hey, a decade of losing seasons will do that to you – as most of you probably know. This will be a place to bitch about starting pitching, to look lovingly at the arms in the minors, to express our man crushes on the likes of Nick "The Dick" Markakis and Matt Wieters, and whatever the fuck else creeps into the brains of Camden and I.

We'll delve more into what to expect on a daily and weekly basis later on in this post, but first, Camden and I wanted to tell you a little bit about ourselves, not that you really give a fuck. This is my intro, Camden's will be coming later tonight.

I was born into a family of O's fans, and have been one since I can remember. I love all sports, but baseball and the O's are more important to me than football, basketball and golf combined. I love everything about the game and, believe it or not, I fucking love this franchise. Nothing chaps my ass more than when I used to check out Roch Kubatko's blog when he was at The Sun and read comments from alleged Oriole fans about abandoning the franchise, or not going to games anymore. It makes me sick. Do I love Petey Angelos? Fuck and no. But that's not going to stop me from loving this team. I hate going to games against the Yanks for Sox in our beloved Yard and being outnumbered by those cockless frontrunners. Hate it. But that's the world we are living in. One day soon, we'll make them all eat some fucking crow though. We will.

I've been there through the good times:

And the bad:

(Note: I was going to put a photo here of Jeffrey Maier grabbing that fly ball from Tarasco, but it's just too painful. Little bastard.)

And here at 33rd & Eutaw, we'll be embracing the past, bitching about the present, and wishing for the future. That's what we do as fans.

But enough about me. I'm really not that interesting. I'm a pasty Irishman who spends too much time evaluating Brad Bergeson's stats. What can you expect from us? And why should you waste your time reading this blog when you can be looking at porn? Good question, and I like where your head's at.

Like I said before, we're going to try and be different from the other Oriole blogs. We want to be informative, but we also want to inject a ton of humor, some angst and, maybe most importantly, interaction. Here are some things that Camden and I discussed during a recent 12-hour shift at a Grotto's Pizza drinking 20 oz. beers. Needless to say, this may change:
• Daily game recaps.
• Live blogs of games and running diaries of attended games. We're going to try and do live blogs at least once per week and also during every big game (AL East opponents, etc.). During these live blogs, you'll be able to interact with us by posting real time comments calling Adam Eaton a pussy or raving at Brian Roberts' baserunning ability. Whatever the hell you want. When we go to games, we'll try and put together running diaries of our experiences, starting with Camden's take on the most magical day of the year: Opening Day.
• Once a week, Camden will drop by with a Down on the Farm report about the state of the O's minor league teams. Trust me, Camden has forgotten more about baseball than I know, so he'll hit that fucking nail on the head.
• We'll also do a weekly segment called Memories of the Magic. That'll be memories of the happy times we've had as O's fans. Hey, it's probably going to be a long fucking season, we'll need to look back at the good times often to keep us from driving to New York, ringing Mark Teixeira's doorbell and hitting him in the face with a bag of shit on a daily basis.
• Other than that, expect a lot of venting and some new features that will definitely crop up. If this thing ever catches on, maybe we can do a monthly mailbag Q&A's with people like Roch and Spencer Fordin. Time will tell.

So that's it in a nutshell. Camden will be back later to drop some fucking flavor on this bitch, so don't miss it. And bookmark us for your entertainment all year long.