We just lost four straight to these fucks

(Yup, we just gave douchebags like this reason to cheer again. Great.)

They were down. All we had to do was kick them. Instead we slipped on a banana peel like the O'Doyle family and plummeted. Instead of taking a station wagon off a cliff, though, we fell down the AL East standings this weekend. Fast.

The Red Sox were reeling (if you can consider a team "reeling" nine games into the season) at 3-6, and we were sitting pretty at 6-3. We had our "ace" on the hill against big, fat, sweaty Brad Penny. And we had a seven run lead. And, well, you know what happened from there. The dreaded four game fucking sweep.

Sorry for the lack of updates the past couple of days. Both Camden and I have had some pretty hectic schedules. After more than a month of being a deadbeat out of a job, I finally landed one, and had to go back to work. So instead of sleeping until 10 and doing absolutely nothing, I've had to adjust to a normal schedule again. Bullshit, I know. As for Camden, he's busy being smart and finishing up his master's degree. Showoff. Anyway, I'm adjusted now, and Camden is in his final week of grad school. So I'll be your pilot the rest of the week. And I'm starting with a long, long fucking post. So get comfy, it's going to be a long ride tonight.

We're taking this shit pile game by game. And we'll be back tomorrow with our regularly scheduled program, including the Bullshit Power Rankings, Memories of the Magic, and perhaps a live blog thrown in.

Let's start with Friday. Ugh.

Man, I started the night sitting at a bar, ice cold beer in hand, watching the Birds light up Sweat Face Penny. A couple of bases loaded walks, an RBI single by B-Rob (we still need a nickname for him, by the way. Any suggestions?) and, of course, the big grand slam from Big Dick Nick. After that hit, by the way, Camden texted me something like, "I heart him. Gayly." And then he did four Prairie Fires. Needless to say, good times.

But they didn't last long.

A couple of homeruns later off of Guts, a predictably mediocre outing from Baez and some unearned runs later and POOF – seven run lead, gone. The Prairie Fires that ensued weren't out of celebration. I swear, unearned runs take years off my life. If there's one thing this team can't afford, it's to give runs away. I understand errors happen. But during this five-game losing skid (and before that even), there have been WAAAAAY too many unearned runs. This team is built on hitting and defense. If our pitchers keep the ball in the park, it's got to be caught. Or we're fucked.

This wasn't as bad as the Mother's Day Massacre, but it sure wasn't any better. Let's just move on.

Saturday:
Adam Fucking Eaton. Shit Sack went four innings and was hitting like 62 on the radar gun, lobbing meatballs to Kevin Youkilis, who was a triple shy of the cycle. We did ding up Josh Beckett, though, scoring four runs in the fifth to make a game out of it. But we couldn't touch the bullpen.

However, with all the bad that Shit Sack brought in his start, the bullpen picked him up. I can't believe I'm going to type this, but Brian Bass actually had a good outing. And Chris Ray looked sharp once again. I can't shake the feeling that he's going to have a hell of a year.

Sunday:
Don't look now, but on Sunday we actually had a starter pitch seven innings! Wow! Unfortunately, Lester the Molester had his stuff working. It figures that he'd work out the kinks he started the year with against us. With Papeldouche unavailable, the O's almost made a ninth inning comeback, but came up short.

Again, you've got to be impressed with Koji's outing. He's not the second coming or anything, but he's going to be solid for us this year. And he's going to be a guy that can go six or seven innings most of the time. Tough loss for him, especially after giving up 7 against Texas and getting the win.

Today:
Today fucking sucked. I was stuck at work, following it on the computer while we got destroyed. Patriot's Day games are gay. All in all, Mark Hendrickson wasn't that bad. Although, it's pretty sad that a starter throws 100 pitches in five innings and it's considered a really good start. Hey, that's our staff. And then there was Radhames Liz. Oh fuck, Radhames Liz. He of the 36 ERA. Let's just move on.

There's no reason to be concerned about the offense, but two runs in two days (including only one today off a spot starter) isn't good. To expect them to keep hitting like they started all season long is unrealistic, but it just sucks when they don't hit. Not that they can be expected to score 13 runs every night anyway.

So it was a terrible four days. And I can't stomach typing any more about it. But let's look at a few observations before we move on and look forward to Bergeson's start tomorrow night.
• Ty Wigginton needs to start hitting soon. I need power from him. After all, isn't that why we signed him?
• Please God dont' let Sugar Bear's hammy be hurt. The last thing we need is for him to get hurt. He's in the middle of becoming a man. And I hope it isn't shot to hell by a damn injury.
• Good thing Izzy can field, because he can't hit a lick.
• Matt Wieters can't get here soon enough. Although Zaun has been probably better than I expected him to be.
• Felix Pie is poop.
• We're running out of bench players after Freel took one in the dome today. I say they call up Sweet Lou Montanez. Dude deserves another shot. For the love of Pete, he can't possibly hit worse than Freel or Pie are right now.
• I hate Boston. Seriously.
• Tomorrow is a much-needed day off, and the boys can't get back to The Yard soon enough. Here's hoping Bergeson can give us a quality start and we can get back to shocking the world.